Great post! Thanks for sharing this with us.
>>I wanted to write something worthwhile,maybe even something rather profound.
Then I realized that everything i "know", is what I'd been taught!or read/heard etc..
What I know is second hand, borrowed from someone else!>>
Moller: When I originally sat down to start the very first manuscript of Spirituality Without God (in fact, the original title was going to be: 'Towards the Wholeness of Being') (this was all the way back in 1991) the same devastating observation hit me like a bolt. I found that I was writing mostly from memory, all nicely camouflaged in some original-sounding insights, but in reality what I was bringing to my writing at that stage was largely dominated by a subtle knowledge-base, founded on a lifetime of reading, and integrating the work of others into my world view. There was no deliberate attempt to deceive either myself or others, but rather just a well-integrated knowledge-foundation which at the time appeared to me to be a true reflection of my own understanding of things.
So, when this realisation dawned on me, I put the whole project aside and started all over again – asking myself what was actually true of my own living experience and what was mere repetition. This was not the first time I have come to this insight, but when I wanted to share with others what I believed was true of myself as living experience, the starkness of the discrepancy between knowledge and present experience became quite acute.
This started me off on yet another journey, ever deeper into the heart of who Moller actually is and what he lives as his own truth and present experience – a process which is still active in me, and hopefully will never fade in its intensity and joyful participation.
So, there I was. What was left of the contents of the cup had to be emptied. What was left of Moller, had to be reviewed, examined and seen for who and what he was. From here it was never a question of going back, trying to rediscover 'myself'. Or even to re-invent myself. Moller was the very content of the enquiry and all that was true about him had to be seen and experienced, and all that was false about him had to be seen and experienced. The truth always remains by itself. And in the light of inner clarity, the false simply falls away by itself. Out of this emerged a new vision, a clarity, both of the truth of Moller's non-dual foundation, but most profoundly the also truth of what he was doing to obscure his clarity in any living moment. This brought about a vigilance where awareness became the operating instrument, lest I allow myself to be seduced by the alure of the false dramatising itself in me.
This is how I came to the things I write about today. Clarity about falseness, and the inner processes which imply and manifest it took precedence over the search for 'truth'. In fact, it became perfectly self-evident that when the false is seen for what it is, clarity is already the case. To quote J. Krishnamurti: 'when the false is seen for the false, that is the truth'.
>>Now here I sit, in stunned silence, for I realize that, I don't know!>>
Yes. Allow the silence to stun you and to obliviate the false which has held you bondage for so long. In this stunned silence there is real and genuine hope because it is the opening we all need, all the time, to enter into those aspects of ourselves where alone wisdom, clarity, love and wholeness abide. If you allow the silence to remain, and not be too eager again to fill the empty cup with more or different kinds of knowledge, the beauty of the silence itself will begin to move the whole of you. We are all so much more that our thinking or knowledge-base. Your insight is beautiful and is to be cherished and allowed to completely devour what is left of knowledge as foundadtion of your spiritual and human growth. Remember the cup is only useful when it is empty. Allow it to remain empty and see what happens.
>>It seems like an original place to start from- don't you think?>>
Original only if you allow the silence to become your instrument for insight, clarity and the awakening of who you are beyond the demand for knowledge as foundadtion of human development.
By the way: I am not sure if you have a copy of my book: The Only Awakening. I am sure you will find there much to assist you along your path of not knowing.