You can relax about your feverish quest for enlightenment. Enlightenment is not for sissies. It is not even for the brave, the dedicated, the valiant or the keen spiritual seeker. In fact, enlightenment is for no-one. The good news is that you are already enlightened – potentially, that is. The bad news is that you will never get there. When the simplicity of enlightenment finally dawns, you will not be around to appreciate it, or to give yourself a pat on the shoulder for your nifty achievement. Also, there will be no-one else to congratulate you. If they do, because they see a strange kind of smile on your face, or detect that you have finally gone a bit crazy, they will be talking to someone that no longer exists. Do what you may, enlightenment is not for you.
The truly enlightened folks are as dead as ducks. Whatever they were is no more and whatever is left of them is little more than intelligently and lovingly functioning flesh and bones. Such creatures cannot but feel and share human warmth and real affection. They smile without affectation; laugh like a bubbling mountain spring; whisper louder than a Beethoven thunder storm and their silence deafens those that dare to come too close. They are born again, yet, without any purpose. They are sufficient unto themselves. Life itself is their free domain and appropriate relationship their natural disposition.
Sissies, on the other hand, want to be entertained. They need the guru. They thrive on the authority of the church, the leader, the enlightened ones. They adore speculative thought, often mistaking it for revelatory truths. Metaphysics is their food and sustenance. Mystery emboldens them. Ideas charm them. Stories fascinate them. False charm invigorates them. Pretence soothes them. Organizations and institutions lull them to sleep. Hope keeps them alive. Promise motivates them. They strive towards mediocrity. The mass mind empowers them. To these, enlightenment keeps a wakeful distance.
Sissies cry foul whenever they are shown to be at fault. Sissies get hurt easily. They are small-minded and self-absorbed. They are cynical, presenting their cynicism as their deepest reply to the challenges of live. They have nasty quirks and sulk when they don’t get what they want. They want everything for themselves – including enlightenment. They might even believe they are the really sincere ones – the dedicated, pure souls sent here to make the world a better place. Sissies believe they are seekers after truth, yet, when truth presents itself in its naked reality, they shy away from it because they dare not see themselves exposed in the light of reality. In the mansion of truth there is no place for the false. And the sissy is of the nature of the false.
Sissies do not want to change. They are either perennial seekers or self-satisfied finders, devoted to and absorbed in hopes and dreams which prevent them from fundamental change. Hold up a mirror of self-reflection to the true sissy and they feign lack of ability, self-hatred, denial, disempowerment. They violently defend what they have found and endlessly seek what they believe is still out there to be discovered. In both cases they are either fulfilling themselves or escaping from themselves. They eagerly believe they are in search of enlightenment, truth, meaning or ultimate reality, while all they create is delusion, falsehood, self-deceit, bondage and disorder. In fact, the sissy is the very stuff of which un-enlightenment is made. Their entire character obscures the light they believe they seek. Their being is a manifestation of ignorance while they believe they are moving ever closer the light.
The sissy is told that all they have to is to knock, and the door will be opened for them. They naively, or strategically, believe this advice and for the rest of their lives keep knocking on the door of their own projected hope. The door they believe they see, is not only closed; this door is of their own imaginative making. They knock in the hope of finding that which they have projected to exist beyond the door, not realizing they are chasing an illusion of their own making. The enlightenment they believe is hiding behind the door is part of a larger scheme of comfortable self-deceit. The sissies cannot stand their self-created misery, so they project the ‘great beyond’, complete with the door between them and their projected reality, to knock on. So, while they knock in the hope that enlightenment will open the door and invite them in, truth continues to slumber snugly this side of the door, waiting for them to turn around and to discover that their very existence is the door between themselves and the revelation of their own inherent purity.
But the sissy does not want to look – not really. Rather, they pretend to themselves and others that they are deeply dedicated to their path, their search, their findings and their devotion to truth and integrity. But deep down they are into the comfort of their own psychological paradigms. The sissy sees only themselves. And what the sissy sees is always nothing but their own disturbed patterns of discomfort, desperately attempting to find some kind of mental and emotional stability amidst the chaos they create for themselves. The game of the sissy is psychological – not spiritual. And enlightenment is far removed from the psycho-dramas the sissy presents to themselves as spiritual unfolding. This is the fundamental problem of the sissy in their presumed quest for enlightenment: they want to maintain the status quo of their own psychological comfort zones while seeking that which cannot be found within the designs of psychological identification. This is why the sissy will never make it. They simply have no faith in that which may free them. In fact, the total mentality of the sissy is in a perpetual state of war with their own help. The sissies do not understand change. Neither do they want it. Deep down they want continuity of that from which they pretend they want to free themselves.
But enlightenment is not so easily fooled. Between the sissy and enlightenment is indeed a door. And behind the door resides the simplicity of enlightenment. But this door is real and as solid as the sissy’s entire mentality. This mentality can never become enlightened. It is as dead to enlightenment as enlightenment is dead to the world of the sissy. The two can never meet. Yet, enlightenment is potentially there for any sissy who is willing to reverse their desperate flight from freedom. Enlightenment is already the case and potentially available to those who care to look and to discover what it is they do in each and every living moment which obscures its manifestation and living truth.
The sissy reflects on their own achievements. This makes the sissy not conscious, but self-conscious. Enlightenment is not of the nature of self-consciousness. The sissy can never be whole, and neither can they become whole. Wholeness is not for the sissy.
The sissy strives toward wholeness and all they find is their own fragmentation, separation and loneliness. The sissy sees themselves as the center of the universe. They are fragmented, alienated, dis-eased; mentally and emotionally impoveraged. The sissy is ignorant of their own ignorance. They know not that all they know is what they know, and that this knowledge is all they are. This makes the sissy not conscious, but self-conscious. They are bereft of the direct experience of the depth of their own undivided being. Instead, they are knowers. And enlightenment is not of the nature of knowledge.
The sissy compares. They seek equilibrium and stability through inner and outer comparison. The sissy needs to be on top. They feed on prestige, self-aggrandizement, self-importance, comparative superiority. One-upmanship. The sissy knows no other way. They are caught in the delusion of their own self-projection. And this self can only compare. It is an instrument of false measurement. The sissy is weak because their very structure is weak. The sissy is not equipped for the simplicity of enlightenment. Enlightenment is not of the nature of comparison.
The sissy thrives on the dramatizations of their psychological complexities. Without these the sissy loses their fundamental orientation to their living reality. These complexities drive, stimulate, motivate and sustain the sissy – however disruptive they may be. For the sissy, psychology rules supreme and deeply entrenched psychological reactivities have become the grooves which determine the direction and content of the sissy’s life. The sissy clings to these as if for dear life. No discrimination is possible where psychology determines action. No change is possible when the sissy is identified with their psychology. No light can shine through the fog of these psychological complexities unless these are challenged and transcended. But the sissy is not interested in transcendence. The sissy prefers the status quo. The sissy does not invite or demand radical change. The sissy seeks the comfort of uninspected psychological comfort zones. Driven by fear of losing these comfort zones the sissy has lost all discretion and discrimination. No discernment is possible when such high demands are placed on keeping the psychological character in balance. And without discernment no change is possible. Enlightenment is not of the nature of psychology. Enlightenment is not a balancing act. Enlightenment is sufficient unto itself, because it is of the nature of life itself.
So, do what you may, the sissy will always find what it seeks, because all it seeks is nothing but the continuity and maintenance of itself. However deeply the sissy delves into their projections of truth and freedom, they will remain tethered to the emptiness and ultimate painful truth of their falseness. The sissy wants to think their way to freedom. The sissy wants a path, a clear series of guidelines to lead them from darkness to light without interfering with their very existence sustained by their psychologically determined field of knowledge and memory. The sissy is afraid of true self-reflection lest they discover the falseness of their empty seeking. Identified with thought and its emotional counterpart, the sissy wants to feel good. The sissy does not want to be disturbed. And the way which allows for the unfolding of the undivided nature of human life is most fundamentally characterized as a process of profound disturbance.
The sissy wants to be left alone so that they can stagnate in the morass of their own thought creations they mistake for spiritual paths, religions, freedom and human dignity. So they enter into an elaborate display of image-making. They pretend rather than look and see. But pretence cannot reveal anything other than itself. The ignorance of falsehood is fundamentally ignorant of itself. So the sissy dwells in the ignorance of their own self-serving and mistaken gestures towards spiritual life. They dance in a circle, believing they are going somewhere. The living reality and purity of the undivided nature of human life cannot reveal itself in the midst of such ignorance. It can only remain silent and obscured until the sissy begins to look at every aspect of their lives which obstructs and obscures the light of their inherent purity. Enlightenment is not of the nature of pretence.
Seek and you will not find. Knock and the door will not be opened. For it is in discovering the falseness of the presumed seeker as well as the one who believes they are knocking that enlightenment may begin to dawn. Such enlightenment is not of the nature of the sissy.
Möller de la Rouvière
Ladismith. South Africa.